Sometimes I am overwhelmed
see around and I feel so of everything. I sit on the train, I look around and I almost want to break from all the garbage that surrounds me, I have to endure and which I sometimes do not even put them into my life.
to do too much in too little time, but probably only because I'm just too much refined and eventually do not know whether I'm coming or going. I escape into the world of fantasies in which I can not reach and moral obligations, but at some point this little perfect world crumbles, which I had built up so hard. The Arch, which holds the blanket has deep cracks and slowly chunks falling from the walls because the reality knocks on the other side and it requires their attention.
And before I know it, blink and I find myself in the chaos of duty consciousness and reality again, which at times threatened to crush me. Sometimes my thoughts are so confused that I can not even take the first, could not join them in words or through gestures and expressions.
It is so difficult.
Everywhere I see this lack of expression in the eyes of the people what I encounter day in and day out. Creatures without will pursue what they want to do and perhaps would not have been so much yet to terms with what they have done for years before her, without realizing that their lives may be more should do, or could.
There are billions of people, billions of dreams, billions of paths, billions of good and evil thoughts. But how many of these dreams actually be implemented? How many people are actually happy?
I will not end this way. I do not want to have to wake up one day, staring at the ceiling, and me thinking that I've wasted my life, and never reached that performed myself.
I will not have to run with a broken view of the city, I put up with, that I do every day, just because I squandered my chances.
And yet ..
Although I am confident in such a way that I carry so much strength in me that I could bring all this done with ease, then I will hang myself yet and do not know where that power hidden, which I for years could fall back, when I woke up and did not know for what reason should I get up yet. Although I now have
reasons, certainly, but I lack the motivation to rouse myself and finally move forward. I often have short rising, say goodbye but after a short time or a smaller setbacks again. Me derail such as sand, which runs through my fingers and I am not able to stop him.
darkness envelops my thoughts. At least a lot lately and I really rarely succeeds, to drive them. Only if I willfully distracted by compulsive actions, they disappear for a short time, but come back and I fall into a little lethargic. Man is his own worst enemy and often it seems to me like I would want to convince myself obsessively that I would achieve nothing in my life.
Although I have certainly already achieved a lot, which I could be proud of. But to see the falls, very difficult for me.
Only after you have lost everything, you're free to do anything. This set contains so much in itself, which I feel is true. Would be no duties, no Morality, nothing that would stop a do, just do what you want. Would not that be true L (l) of the same?
I clearly need more sunshine in my life.
And this statement is not based on the weather.
Life is in truth but the purest Gedankenkotze.
Mind Fuck.
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